Irony
by NonexistentBeing
Summary: Separate oneshots about unlikely situations involving a certain poetic device. Miraculous Ladybug is filled with irony, after all. Why not add more?
1. A Bug's Phobia

It was incredibly unexpected when Ladybug shrieked and backpedaled as far away from the sight as possible.

Chat Noir stared at her, dumbfounded. No way. Surely not. She could not be reacting to what he thought she was. But as he watched, he was confronted with the inescapable truth.

Ladybug was afraid of insects.

"You've got to be kitten me," Chat snorted, beginning to laugh. This was just too good. He clutched his sides, looking back and forth between the heroine and the cricket that was chirping a few feet away on the rooftop. "Gee, Bugaboo, I never thought a Ladybug would be scared of bugs!"

She scowled, still keeping her distance from the offending cricket. "Ha, ha, hilarious. It's not my fault those things are so creepy..."

The cricket sprang forward suddenly, making her let loose another terrorized, un-Ladybuglike squeak. Chat Noir dissolved into another bout of laughter.

"Does this mean you get scared of transforming, too?" he asked between breaths. "Do you break out in chills whenever you see something red with spots?"

Ladybug wanted to facepalm, but that would mean taking her eyes off of the chirping insect. Instead, she settled for crossing her arms and huffing. "I'm not scared of ladybugs, Chat. I just... don't like crawly things."

"Crawly things like ladybugs," her partner supplied unhelpfully.

Ladybug scowled harder and opened her mouth to retort when the cricket gave a mighty leap and landed inches from her foot.

The resulting cacophony of respective screaming and laughter woke many Parisians from their slumbers and sent them panicking.


	2. Catnip

**A/N: This prompt was given by CinnamonPenguin. I hope it lives up to your expectations.**

Ladybug and Chat Noir were lounging on a rooftop after sunset when an idea came to the former's mind.

"Chat?" she said, facing her partner curiously. "Can I test something out?"

"Whatever you'd like, my lady," the cat-themed superhero said with a suggestive wink, resulting in an eye roll from his partner.

"I'll be back in a minute."

Ladybug swung away, returning moments later with what appeared to be a potted plant. Chat tilted his head curiously at her.

"We should know if this works," she explained before he could ask. "It's always good to know our weaknesses in case of a related akuma."

"If what works?" Chat Noir asked. "I'm pretty sure my weakness isn't basil."

Ladybug scowled. "It's catnip."

That changed things considerably. Chat leaped up from his perch, backpedaling wildly and scampering as far from the offending plant as possible.

"LB, that's dangerous! Don't you know the smell of catnip is supposed to make cats go crazy? I'm already crazy for you as it is; catnip would just be overkill, don't you think?"

Ladybug sighed at her partner's antics. "We need to know our weaknesses," she said simply. Holding out the plant, she hesitated, then added, "It can't be too bad. Come on, Chat."

"I warned you, Bugaboo," her partner sighed dramatically. He approached the outstretched herb tentatively, reaching out to take it.

"Smell it; eat it; do something," Ladybug urged unhelpfully.

"Isn't that illegal?" Chat quipped, receiving an unamused glare from his partner.

He did as she asked, though, bringing the plant to his level and eyeing it like a real cat would. Despite the light mood, he was still afraid of just how similar to a cat he was. Petting, purring – that, he was more than fine with. But catnip?

Ladybug was just as worried, perhaps more so. She didn't want to be responsible for making Chat Noir go insane. She hoped it wouldn't last long.

There was only one thing to do.

"Well… here goes nothing," Chat said, and sniffed the leaves of the catnip.

The superheroes waited with bated breath.

And waited some more.

"Huh. Guess not. What a shame…" Chat Noir grinned at his partner, who exhaled deeply.

"That's a relief," Ladybug said slowly, "but it's… weird."

"Definitely weird," Chat agreed.

"Well, would you care to take the catnip home with you? I don't have much of a use for it."

Chat Noir's eyes lit up. Catnip or not, having a gift from his lady would make it seem as though the herb worked on him after all.

"It would be my _purrleasure_."


	3. Cat Fur

Adrien was volunteering at the nearby animal shelter when he found out something very important about his kwami.

The nice lady at the counter had assigned him to cleaning the cat cages, which he thought was the _purrfect_ job for him. It was just him in the cat room that day, so as an added bonus (or not), he was able to talk to Plagg as he worked.

But he had not expected it when his kwami's first words came in the form of a sneeze.

"Aw, come on, Adrien, did you have to pick an animal shelter to work at?" Plagg complained. He sneezed again. "I think I'm allergic to fur."

Adrien set down his supplies to give his kwami an incredulous look. "You're a magic being bound to a ring; you can't have allergies."

"I can't?" Plagg asked sarcastically. "Somebody must've forgot to let me know about that, then. I'm telling you – cat fur wreaks havoc on my sinuses." He let out another jarring sneeze to illustrate his point.

Adrien stared at him, nonplussed. "You're literally a black cat. How on earth are you allergic to cat fur?"

Plagg shrugged his tiny shoulders. "It's a cruel twist of fate, I know. But it's true."

The young model sighed with resignation. It didn't make one bit of sense, but he knew there was only one way to stop all the complaining that would undoubtedly follow.

"There's cheese in my pocket."

"Camembert?"

"The very best."

Plagg zoomed inside the jacket, disappearing from Adrien's view. He set back to work, cleaning the cages as his kwami ate.

It wasn't long before a tremor went through his jacket pocket.

"Ah-choo!"


	4. Those Girls Are Stupid

**A/N: Shameless promotion of High School Musical. I don't own it, ML, or any other movie mentioned. Or a certain quote used here.**

"Chloe, Sabrina; please present your report on the movie you chose," Miss Bustier instructed at the head of the classroom. The students had been assigned to give presentations on the character development of a character from any movie. Marinette and Alya had chosen _The Notebook_ , and Adrien and Nino had picked _Star Wars: The_ _Empire Strikes Back_.

Chloe made her way to the front of the room, smirking at everyone she passed. Sabrina hurried behind her, weighed down by all their notes.

"My project is about _High School Musical 2_ ," the mayor's daughter said pompously, tossing her ponytail.

"Oh, boy," Alya muttered to Marinette.

Chloe snapped her manicured fingers. "Sabrina. Present the slides."

Her underling hastened to follow her orders, pulling up a slideshow on the projector. On it, to the entire class's surprise, was a picture of the female lead to the movie.

That wasn't the surprising part. The surprising part was that Chloe wasn't doing her project on the "hot romantic guy" male lead, Troy Bolton, to use her own words.

Alya voiced her confusion; after all, he definitely seemed her type. "Why didn't you pick Troy?"

Chloe sneered at her. "I would have, but Gabriella Montez is so much more _me_. As if _you_ could understand."

The students exchanged dubious looks. Even those who had never seen the movie doubted that the main female character had anything in common with their resident queen bee.

"Why didn't you pick Sharpay Evans?" Marinette asked, unable to keep the distain from her voice. "She's, well... You have a lot more in common with her." There were murmurs of assent from the rest of the class.

Chloe gave a melodramatic shudder. "You have no right to insult me, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. That girl is a walking, one-dimensional, bleached-blonde valley girl stereotype. Those characters are the _worst_."

More than one person raised an eyebrow at that. Alya snorted, attempting to pass it off as a sneeze.

"The worst? That's one thing you and I can agree on," Marinette said wryly.

Chloe sniffed, taking insult to sharing an opinion with her nemesis. "Although, Sharpay's fashion sense is so chic. Unlike yours."

In unison, the entire class rolled its eyes.


	5. Final Failure

**A/N: So this is my last idea. But if you have any requests or possible situations, be sure to send them in!**

"Nooroo, I've had it. Nothing is being accomplished. Ladybug and Chat Noir defeat me every time. There's no point in trying any more."

The man behind the mask of Hawk Moth let his staff fall to the ground with a clatter. Nooroo breathed a nervous sigh of relief.

"Master… Thank you for finally seeing reason –!"

Hawk Moth gave his kwami an ice-cold glare. "I will still achieve my goal, Nooroo. I will have Ladybug and Chat Noir's miraculous, one way or another. But this… the same old akuma every day… it isn't working. They aren't strong enough to defeat Ladybug." He clenched an angry fist.

"But, Master –"

"That is why, after this last akuma, I will change tactics. I believe I know a way to get to them outside of my mask… and theirs. But the details of that plan will be worked out after this."

Nooroo frowned, but before he had a chance to voice his thoughts on the matter, his master transformed, sucking the kwami into his miraculous.

The grand circular window opened, casting a bright light across the room. (Hawk Moth had to suppress the moth kwami's urge to fly into it.)

Right away, he found a target and sent out a dark butterfly in pursuit of the person's negative emotions. Sitting back, he sighed, waiting for the inevitable cheers of his failure.

Less than one hour later, he was startled out of a small nap by the voice of his chosen supervillain communicating with him.

"Hawk Moth. The miraculous are yours."

Well. That was unexpected.

"Are you… crying?"

Hawk Moth tried to cover the sounds, to no avail. "Just… dust in my eyes. Bring them to me!"

"But dust doesn't make you sob –"

"Just bring them to me!"


End file.
